Full bodied, rich, malty & fruity Devon ale

I am yet to meet a person in real life who likes porter. I like stout but have never been able to finish a porter, and this one is no different. The terrible pour is probably my fault as I don't know the technique, but I've got no interest in learning as I don't plan to ever drink porter again. This has been in my fridge since last Christmas because I knew I'd hate it. How is this grim liquid considered beer?

Extra strength and taste